Wise Heart Coaching Blog

Tonight I participated in my monthly reading group where we are going through the 1992 book, Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

What a great group! The members of our group are two women in their 30’s, a man in his 40’s, and another woman and myself in our 50’s. The discussion is insightful, full of passion, and deep honesty. It is an honor to be with such a group.

Like many, I have always said, “I am not an artist.” Yet, from the book we are reading, art is the way of connecting to our wild self - our “Wild Woman.” According to Estes each woman must search for her “river beneath the river.”

“She arrives there through deep meditation, dance, writing, painting, prayermaking, singing, drumming, active imagination, or any activity which requires an intense altered consciousness. She arrives there by deeply creative acts, through intentional solitude, and by practice of any of the arts.” page 31

We are all artists! I realize the importance of honoring that part of myself more and more each day. I realize how much I limit my own growth as a woman and as a human being when I deny this essential part of myself.

Where are you limiting yourself, your full potential, your wild woman? What can you do to bring that part of yourself to life? This holds true for both men and women - we deny our true self the freedom of experience when we deny our artistic self.

When we live without artistic expression we live in the desert of our souls.

Yes, you CAN be Happy During Unhappy times.

Much like many of you I was feeling the pressure of all the negative stuff around me - politics, gas prices, utility costs, food prices, job market, etc. I realized that it was not the best place for me to go. So, I did what I do best to conquer these things - I wrote a short e-book with a hang up poster on How to be Happy During Unhappy Times. It is free when you subscribe to my newsletter from my website (just look over to the left side of this page).

The thing is the newspaper, the TV news, even when you check out at the grocery store all you read is that things are “bad.” It becomes habit to say everything is bad.

Here is the thing - this is true and untrue.

Yes, time are very difficult right now - but what makes this time even more difficult is our dwelling on it. My suggestion - stop reading the newspaper, stop watching the news, play with the kid in the cart behind you in the check out line - do anything besides scratching the wound. Every time you read or listen to all of this negativity it is like taking a wound and irritating it - it just hurts more.

Another suggestion, when your friend calls to complain (I am talking about simple complaining) about life, expenses, how bad the times are - tell your friend you would like to help them by asking them what is going right - there is always something going right. And if they don’t want to look away from the darkness surrounding them to see any joy whatsoever - I suggest you tell them you love them, but you don’t wish to be drawn in.

Here is why - miracles are everywhere! They surround us. The key is - you have to open the door and let them in. As long as we talk about the misery and disappointment around us - we are blocking out the miracles that are waiting - waiting right there - right next to us. Go ahead - open the door - let the miracles in.

I have inserted a video - My Stroke of Insight- which is one of the most fantastic U-Tube Videos I have seen. Take a few minutes and watch this unbelievable true story.

Write back and tell me the miracles in your life. I am listening. And remember to sign up for the continuing conversation by putting in your email over on the left hand side and hit “Subscribe.”

Angels blessings to each of you.

It started out with this great job offer. I am always looking at ways to increase the amount of cash so that things “flow” more easily from pocket to bills. This job sounded perfect. I breezed through the first interview – and was all ready for the second.

Everything went wrong! The kicker was a woman who worked at the place where I was applying. I was looking for a parking place and saw her walking out. She walked right past my car. I waited – no movement. So, I moved up and raised my hands asking if she was moving. She signed that she was not leaving. OK. But when I went into the interview, the man interviewing me asked why I had given “the finger” to his employee? OMG, no way did I do such a thing! How could she have seen my asking her if she was moving a “the finger?” However, the damage was done. She has worked for the company for six years – my profuse apologies for the misconstrued hand gesture fell on deaf ears. Friday I received the call that – they just didn’t think I would be a “good fit.”

I was angry – mad – frustrated. However, not long after I received my sad news, I got a call from my son in California. He wanted to share with me the wonderful news that he had just been offered a fabulous job offer. Wow!!! I so needed that. I told him about what happened to me – and sometimes – you know – that kid who has lived 25 years less than me – has a lot of wisdom.

He said, “You are better off – you wouldn’t want to work for a place like that.” And he is right. How come I didn’t think of that?

He reminded me that where you work and who your work with is a lot more important than the money you take home. Oh yah, I knew that – how come I didn’t think of that?

So, I was reminded to feel gratitude. Oh yah – gratitude – that is something else I often forget to have.

I realized that it has been a long time since I wrote in my “gratitude journal.” I will often go to bed and recount those things I have gratitude for – but you know what – writing them down is a lot more powerful. It also gives me something to look at when those “bad weeks” hit.

So, what do you have gratitude for? OK, I know you say “a lot” but do you really think about it and send a thank you to the angels? If you haven’t done it already, start a gratitude journal. It may be the same things day after day – but that’s OK.

Let’s start here. Share with others – share with the angels – what do you have gratitude for? You may spark something in someone else – “Oh yah – I have gratitude for that, too.”

I am so excited!!!  I have written a book!!!  For as many years as I am just about old - old enough to put words together - I have been inventing stories - eventually writing the stories down.  When I lived in El Salvador I had a lot more time to write - amazing how much time TV takes away from creativity.  Because of that “time” I have entire folder full of poetry.

So, now as a coach I felt that it was time to put my “wisdom” and “learning” into a workbook.  Suddenly, I had the “time” that I had been missing - I was engaged.   The writing flowed - almost too quickly.  The book was written.  Now it is published.  People are buying it - reading it.  What a thrill!!!  I loved it so much - I am ready to write another book - title and cover art - it is all in my mind.

The point is - where did I suddenly find the time?  I found the time because I became passionate - engaged - action oriented over just wish or thought oriented.  It was something I really wanted to do.  I found joy in it.

What are you not doing because you don’t have the time?  If you added passion - could you find the time?

I would love to hear from you about this.

BTW, my book is “The Power of Goal Setting-Transforming Thoughts Into Action!”  and I am selling it for $14.97.  Could some goal setting help you find the time to live your passion?  What is your passion worth?  Is it worth your time?

Talk back to me.

OK, the days are starting to get longer, but it still isn’t spring as it is still raining and gloomy most days.  So, I think it is the perfect time to read a book.  Any suggestions on good books to read?  What have you read lately that really brightened your life?

Or, how about writing a book?  I have decided that I am going to write a short book on self-sabotage, fear and goals.  Sounds like a hefty project, but I don’t intend it to be.  I want to write a small book - no more than 100 pages that I can self-publish and sell at a Mind, Body, Spirit fair in Portland in April.  Have any of you self-published before?  Any suggestions?

Hello dear friends, My wonderful Fearless Living Life Coach, Joseph, has given me another assignment which I am going to ask for your help with.

On my Wheel of Freedom, my “core need” is Joy. It is to not only experience Joy, but to bring Joy to others, which also brings me Joy. So, it is a circle. Since my greatest joy comes from coaching and taking classes that build my coaching knowledge, he wanted me to stretch myself.

Since Joy is a core need, it is pretty important. My assignment this week (along with a lot of other stuff) is to list 25 ways that I can bring myself joy that does not cost one penny. Not one penny!!!

I can think of a few things: 1) Getting a book from the library - doesn’t cost anything that way. 2) Knit something from my stash of yarn (knitting is my mediation.) 3) Taking a nap with my cockatiel, JD - my bird brings me joy.
4) Having friends over to talk and share. 5) Renting a funny or old movie from the library.

Now it starts getting more difficult. Can’t cost a penny!!! That leaves off going anywhere because gas costs a lot of money. So there goes the beach or mountains. Five is like about 20 short of the assignment. Help!!!!! He loved the comments about crying - now we have this one. I could really use your help. Thanks, Judith

I am so impressed with the responses. Many have really touched my heart. I feel blessed to have received so many - that you have taken the time to respond means a great deal to me.
One friend who preferred to remain anonymous wrote the following:
“Here’s what I have to say about crying - just off the top of my head:
I think tears are a way of cleansing the soul. Tears don’t let us lie to ourselves; they are a true sign of our deepest feelings. They are the most human part of being human. They reduce our stress. They are whispers that communicate with spirit, heart, body and mind and connect them to each other. When we let the tears flow and take time to truly consult with them and to reflect upon them, they will take us beyond emotion and into deeper meaning in our life. We should be grateful to our tears, because they tell us who we are and how we are right here, right now. No lying.
So why, Judith, can’t you and I cry when we have so much to cry about?
Yours, in loving tears.”
Again, thank you so very much for sharing - and please keep sharing - respond to each other. Judith

Hello, and welcome to my Blog. I do not really know a lot about Blogging, so I will give it a go.

How about this to start? My Fearless Living Life Coach has given me an assignment that I need help on. During our coaching session I told him that I do not cry. I cannot even remember the last time I cried. It is just not something that I do. So, he asked me to ask 5 friends What are the Benefits of Crying and What are the Costs of Crying? What do you think? Are there benefits to crying? I am sure there are, I just usually end up with a red stuffed up nose, upset stomach and a headache - so I guess I see more of the costs. Besides, I just haven’t had many things happen lately that have caused me to cry. What do you think? Is it better to be a person that cries easily or one that just doesn’t feel sadness a lot so doesn’t cry? I will be very interested in seeing your answers.

Judith - Wise Heart Coaching